Day 3

I have a profound love for my family, the family I came from, and the family I am creating. And I can not forget the family of friends that have filled in the gaps over the years.

My husband is my best friend, and I know this phrase is trite, but it is true. We fit together. We work well together, we are equally stubborn and strong so we can't really push each other around. We have the same core beliefs and values, we have similar desires. We really truly enjoy being with each other.

My daughter is the center of my universe. I am up to my ears in the world of "pre school" and "pretend". Secretly, well not so secretly now, I've always felt really anxious about being around little kids because I just don't understand how to communicate with them. Give me a teenager and I'm fine, but under 10, whoa, uncharted territory for me. O is teaching me more and more about the wonder of being a child. I love being in her world at times, it's a fun place. I am gaining a more meaningful understanding of what is it to be a mother and how my role affects the family. O, in many ways, is my mini-me. I honestly didn't think it was possible, but we are similar in more ways that I imagined. That's SO SCARY!!! The last time I was home I read through my baby book and some of my moms memoirs. Wow, it felt like I was reading the very things I would say I about O. The Lord really knows..... Do I dare say "the curse"?

I am grateful for the family I was raised in. My parents and brother have many great qualities I admire and aspire to develop. My experiences as a youth have shaped who I am today.

I am also grateful for the family in which LT was raised. His experiences growing up shaped his desires for the family we are working to create now.

I truly believe the family unit is the strongest unit of a society. It is a huge responsibility and privilege to raise the next generation. Many of the social ills of a society stem from the break down of families. I hope and work to create a family that is filled with peace and love.

My family at Christmas 2010 in ID

The Murphy family around 1993

The Hills, missing T and F

The Hills, T,F and L

The sweet angel that made me a mother.

My BFF from High School

Wow, what an incredible woman.

My YW leader S. I adored this woman.

Food!!

I really, really like food. I'm grateful it helps to nourish and strengthen my body.

A month of Gratitude

I am grateful for my faith in Christ and His teachings that direct my life. Over the years I have followed His teachings and I have disregarded them. And I have found that when I choose to do the simple things like, looking for the good in others, looking for opportunities for service, praying, reading the scriptures and seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit, I have a greater measure of peace. And, oh how sweet that peace is, especially in tumultuous times.

I'll be the first and loudest to admit that I am far from a perfect person and definitely not a saint . And I'll be the first to admit, that I am happy with who I am and I feel peace with who I am trying to become. In this world, I may be one voice drowned out in billions, but with God, I am heard. I am loved and I am encouraged.

Cookie Party!!!

Tis the season for sugar cookies!!! We had some of Os friends over to decorate cookies today. It was very last minute. I had this idea in my head for weeks, but wasn't sure, until the last minute if we would be able to do it. We had a pretty good turn out.

The guests received 3 cookies each. They could eat one and the other two were to be taken home. I was surprised how conservative some of them were with the frosting. Hum, low sugar, that is so foreign to me.

I just love this holiday.

Some funnies

Last night we were reading a Charlie Brown Valentine book with O. He was nervous to talk with the little red haired girl. O thought that was funny, but then she became somber and told us she was nervous to talk with Joseph. Oh, that little rascal.

We were making sugar cookies this morning and I was only using the pumpkin cookie cutter.

O, "Mom, why are you using the pumpkin?"

M, "Because I like pumpkins."

O, "How about you use the other ones."

M, "But, I don't want to, I like pumpkins."

O, "Here, use this ghost."

Hum, who is in charge here???

Yesterday was a big day for O. She took a shower ALL BY HERSELF, with supervision. She started out with goggles so the water wouldn't get in her eyes while she soaped up. Then the goggles came off and she "washed" her hair. She was so proud of herself and I have to admit, I was really proud of her too. Although, I'm not ready to have her do this every day, I am thrilled to see her grow in confidence with her abilities. The other half of this story, when I got in the shower, she not only hid my towel, but took ALL the towels out of the bathroom. Little stinker. I had to use the bath mat/towel until I found her. We have a lot of fun teasing each other.

One "toy" I despise is Play-Doh. Seriously, I can't stand the stuff. We don't buy it anymore so we haven't had it in our house for ages. Well, at school on Monday, they made play-doh and brought it home. I have to admit, O has been really enthralled with making things. Yesterday, I make Rapunzel and O cut her hair.

One of my favorite things about O is her love for others. Here she is with one of her favorite baby buddies, E.

A little bit of Halloween

There is one holiday that we just don't get enough of and that is HALLOWEEN!! I'd be happy to celebrate it for 6 weeks, oh heck, why not 2 months. That way, I think I would be able to get all of the activities in that I want to do with this fun holiday.

We are huge fans of Halloween and we usually throw a big party. BUT, this year, we are scaling things down a bit and celebrating on a smaller scale. I will only make one batch of sugar cookies and jello jigglers. I only bought one bag of mixed candy for trick or treaters. And, I don't even have a costume picked out. Crazy, I know. We/I are trying to simplify our lives. (Once Christmas is over, I'll let you know how it worked out)

So, with that said, for our FHE on Monday we carved pumpkins and roasted the seeds. LT and I are a perfect match when it come to pumpkins, I want the seeds for roasting and he wants to do all of the carving. O was fearless and gutted the pumpkin with me. I love that she wants to do everything I do. We had fun with our slimy hands and, we discovered pumpkin slime is very slick when you get it wet.

O wanted to do some of the carving too and she's got LTs touch. I'm excited to see what her pumpkins will look like when she's old enough to wield the knife all by herself. She also enjoyed making a puzzle out of the pieces poked out of the pumpkin.

My favorite pumpkins are the two little vampire ones. They are the ones I did, but that really has nothing to do with them being my favorite.

The master at work.

Our pumpkin family. I'm excited to carve our final two, not pictured, on Sunday night.

Home Fries

When it comes to this blog, I have good intentions and grand dreams of writing posts about our family that are fun to read, but the reality is, I just don't have the time I once did to capture it all. Life moves so quickly now, as soon as I'm done with one thing the next one has already started.

For example, my brothers wedding was last weekend. I had a fabulous time, and I had little snippets of stories to share, but since I didn't write most of them down, I don't remember them anymore. I returned home from my trip to ID and immediately started preparing for my trip to VA for Time Out For Women.

But, before I talk about that, I want to share the highlights of my time in ID and UT last weekend. Thursday, I boarded a plane, all by myself, (wow) and headed to SLC. The mountains gave me a welcomed embrace when we landed. Ah! Home. SLC was my home for a decade. We parted friends, me eager to see what else the world had in store. And every time I return, I feel at home again. (I'm so glad SLC's not jealous like that.) I drank in the familiar skyline as I drove in my dads swagger wagon up to ID.

I've had a love hate relationship with ID for years. I'm not sure we're on good terms until I get there. (ID is kind of moody like that.)

I met my new sister-in-law to be and my new nephews and niece to be. We had a family dinner and I told childhood stories about my brother. I'm not sure he appreciated his kids knowing he started our couch on fire. My mum was flabbergasted!! (Hey, at least I waited over 20 years to tell on him, right?)

Friday I spent time with a friend I've known since 1st grade. She recently became a massage therapist and I had a session with her. She is awesome and it was awesome to get reacquainted with her. Later, I met my BFF from high school at the mall. She had her 6 kids in tow and we looked for a simple wedding gift. She talked me into buying a 2 foot inflatable skeleton head/hat to wear at the wedding. (I used my better judgement and chose not to wear it, she'd say I chickened out.) I ended the day with a trip to Buddy's and went to bed with a belly full of salad and garlic bread. I LOVE Buddy's and at that point I was feeling a little better about ID.

Saturday afternoon I went on the coolest bike/Harley ride of my life. (Okay, not of my life, but at least in the past 10 years). I LOVE motorcycles. I got myself into trouble a time or two in college with guys on bikes. Skipping class for a ride? Are you kidding me? OF COURSE I'll go on the ride. I keep telling LT we need to get a motorcycle. He's not convinced. hum..... I wonder if I promise to go topless every time we ride, if that will work?

Also, the big news of Saturday was, my brother got married. It was the most original wedding I've ever attended and I was so glad I could make it. What made me grin from the inside out was seeing him truly happy with his wife. I just love seeing people in love. I'm excited for them to go forward together.

And, incase you didn't already know, I love my brother. He is the coolest guy EVER. I've always been a bit jealous of him because he is the smart one AND the funny one. (Now, LT is the smart one and I'm the funny one, but when I was growing up, I had competition for funny and believe me, Matt is a lot funnier than me.) He's great at making friends. On family vacations, with out fail, he would have a friend in an instant. He is also great at telling stories. It helps that he always embellishes, but that just makes if funnier. Matt, I love you and I'm thrilled for you and your new family.

You've got to admit, the baby in the spider web is pretty funny!!!

See the cow bones too?

By the end of the day Sunday ID and I were friends again. There truly is no place like the home where you grew up. I went to church and saw people who had loved, taught and nurtured me from an early age. The hugs, the familiar and knowing smiles, the love, it was just what a girl needed to be reminded of her first home.

Then Monday came and I was ready to see my family. On my drive to UT I remembered one of the reasons why I didn't really like ID all that much. Their radio stations suck!!! They were playing the same songs they played when I was in Jr High, over 20 years ago. ID really is in a time warp. Occasionally things get in and out of there and I'm just glad I'm one of the ones that made it out. Yep, that bipolar relationship with ID cropped up on the way out. Maybe it was happy I was leaving, or maybe it was sad, but didn't want to let me know. Either way, I shot out of there toward the promise of the airport in UT. That evening I stayed with some friends that are so dear to me. LT and I met them when we were newlyweds. We were in the same ward and we became fun friends with each other. It felt good to feel at "home" again in UT.

Tuesday I stepped off of the plane in MD and was embraced by my family and I was really home.

For a while now, I've been thinking a lot about what it is that is so satisfying about being around people who've known me as a teenager and in my 20's. And all I can come up with is they know me as a functional and capable person. They know my history. They know the fun Melissa that is a total goofball. They've seen some of my gifts and talents. 29 is when my anxiety really kicked in and they didn't see what it did. And, at least by my own perception, I've never been quite the same since. I feel far more flawed now as a 30 something that I did as a 20 something. I think parenting and anxiety have contributed to this feeling of being flawed. I swear, more often that not, I function with a brain on it's last circuit. I'm happy with their memories of who am I because I like them so much better than what I feel like I am now.

And that is how I left ID/UT, filled with a peaceful reminder that I am more than what I am at the current moment. I have been more and I will be more again.