This is me stooping.

My family is a bit crazy. If you've met us, you know.

My brothers life could easily provide content for a dozen Jerry Springer episodes.

My parents are both great people, with big hearts and quirks.

There was a time in my youth when I was embarrassed by them and wished I had come from a different family. (Then again, what child hasn't, at some point, thought that?) However, over the years, through good times and bad, I have come to appreciate how fortunate I am to have them. We are a motley crew, but we work.

Through what I learned as a child, and what I've have had to unlearn as an adult, I've come to see the core of what makes relationships work. One component is communication. Open, honest, communication. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten in fights with my mom, and when all is said and done, and the emotion passes, we will still talk with each other. My family yelled at each other instead of keeping quiet and ignoring things. My parents didn't play passive aggressive games with each other.

Granted, my family is far from perfect, but we still try to be together. My parents have been divorced for over 10 years, yet, they still include each other in family events. They support both of their children and their grandchildren. We've spent Christmases and other holidays together. It's so weird, and at the same time, it shows me that you can still support the people you love without being mean to others. It shows me that love for your children conquers the dislike for the other. You can put aside your differences.

This is where it gets ugly, you are welcome to stop reading now.

It has taken looking into the ugliness of another family to help me recognize what is good with mine.

The event that prompted this post was a simple phone call. My good friend called his mom. Yep, a phone call. He was on the phone for 30 minutes and she didn't ask ONE SINGLE question about how he was doing. What kind of mother does that? She hardly talked to him at all. He had to offer information to get her to talk and her responses were, "uh huh" and "oh". He asked questions about her and she barely answered them. Once the call was over, I asked him about it. I told him I was sorry his family totally sucked. There was a time when that would have been hurtful to him, but he said it was just sad. It's a complex story, true, but, what kind of mother shuts out her son without even talking with him about why? This past summer he called to talk with her about it, actually have a conversation (crazy idea, I know), and she said it was in the past, you know, just sweep it under the rug. And then, she shuts him out. That behavior is just sick. He's not bothered by it, but I am. Wow, I just can't wrap my head around it. I actually feel sorry for them. My family is so very different from his and in all of our dysfunction, I think we are actually healthier.

Yes, this is harsh and petty.

Um, okay.

I'm tired of being quiet about it.

It feels good to come into my own appreciation of my family. In a way, this is me beating my chest to show the world, mine is better than yours. I'll take my families crazy any day over his. At least my family calls me on my birthday. My mom smothers me and drives me batty, but I know there isn't anything I could do that would keep her from me. She loves me so thoroughly. She has always been a dedicated mom. She always wants to be in the know. As annoying as it is at times, I have no doubt of where I stand with her.

I truly feel sorry for his family. Fortunately, there is hope for some.

Once again, petty and small, I know, but, I did say I was stooping.

Another Birthday

I turned 36, and it doesn't seem to fit.

I feel fine and I'm happy with my body, until I look in the mirror. It's bigger and softer than I want it to be. I tell myself it is natures way of keeping me warm in the winter. It is, isn't it?

My skin is older, it doesn't have the youthful plumpness and glow. It has more creases. Even though my body is softer I feel, in some places, I am shrinking out of my skin. Is this what it is to age? I don't notice it in my mind, my self. As long as I don't look at my hands or in the mirror, I am as young as 20.

True, my brain is cloudier and my nimbleness is less, but I'm surely not old, not yet.

Christmas is coming

Are you ready?

Here is a little video from last year, 2009. Can you guess the song?

Ah, The Weepies

They are a deep breath.

They are the perfect moment. They are the beautiful yellow just before a warm summer sunset. I smile and feel a depth of satisfaction when I think of the Weepies. My sweet friend Ali Mae introduced me to them. She bought me "Say I am You" as a gift when I left SLC. That CD stayed in my car for 2 years. I listened to it over and over again as I drove to AZ to meet O. I listened to it again 2 years later, as I drove home from AZ with the expectation that her adoption would be final. I love the Weepies partly because of the sweet memories of Ali Mae and the faith she taught me and partly because of the caress of their songs.

I love "Painting by Chagall" because it makes me think of O. I call that "our song". When she was a newborn, I sang it to her when she ate, when she slept, when I held her. I was so thrilled to have her and she surrounded me.

"Sometimes rain that's needed falls

We float like two lovers in a painting by Chagall,

All around is sky and blue town

Holding these flowers for a wedding gown

we live so high above the ground

satellites surround us."

I did feel so high above the ground. She was the rain that was needed.

I had the chance to see them in November. There were no cameras allowed so I don't have any pictures to share. They were incredibly adorable. Steve Tannen had a way of telling stories that reminded me of my brother, it was very endearing. He was funny, I almost wet my pants a time or two. I now know the meaning behind the song "Riga Girls". It had NEVER made sense to me and I gave up trying to puzzle it out ages ago. The story is about spam. His spam filter kind of stopped working and he started getting some of those messages that don't really make sense and you wonder if the author knew how to speak english. Well, one day he got one that said "Riga girls go like this" and he said "Riga girls go like what?" He clicked on it and it was a porn link and his screen was instantly covered with porn pages. His mouse couldn't keep up so he got on the floor "desperately hoping no one was around to help" him find the outlet so he could unplug it. Right at that moment, Deb walked into the room. And, that is how "Riga Girls" came about. He is perpetually reminded of his moment of embarrassment and humiliation.

I would see them again without hesitation. They are a charming and entertaining couple. I left with a warm happy feeling that makes me smile even now as I think of it. To me, that is a sign of a good show.

Germany 2009

For some reason, I've never had a desire to visit Europe. When I was a wee lass, our family lived in Scotland and England for a year. I have some vivid memories from living there. And when I graduated from college my Dad took me along with him on one of his French Open trips. Once again, I have some really cool memories of France. In 2006 I spent three weeks in SE Asia and almost 2 weeks in Brazil. The countries I visited were fascinating to me and I wouldn't hesitate a second to go back to Thailand. I consider myself very privileged to have traveled to so many places in my short life thus far. Then again, I would rather do than have and travel is at the top of the "do" list for me.

With that said, it was around this time last year when I traveled to Stuttgart Germany to spend a couple of days with LT. I find myself thinking of how surprised I was that I liked it there. The buildings were rich, the streets were tiny and the meats were mysterious. We had some memorable experiences there.

The story goes like this. In the spring my Dad purchased tickets for us to visit LT in Djibouti in December. The more we talked with LT the more it made sense that visiting Djibouti wasn't a good idea. It's not really a safe place. So, we cancelled our tickets. Travel to Djibouti isn't cheap, so that left me with a decent amount of airline money to use. (Even after my trip to Germany we had enough to use to go to Disneyworld this past March) LT found out he had a training in Germany and we decided I would meet him there for a few days so we could be together. My roommate took the lead with taking care of O and things were set.

When I arrived in Germany, I'd been up for hours and was ready for a shower and sleep. But, when I walked into the hotel room, LT was there, lying in bed. He wasn't suppose to be there. The very first thing he said to me was, "I've got the stomach flu". NOT the way to welcome me. If you know me, I mean REALLY know me, you'll understand why I wanted to get back on the plane and go home. Also, I was exhausted but I didn't want to get into bed with him because if he had the flu, there were bugs all over. I said something like "Oh crap". No "Hello", no compassion or sympathy, no "I'm sorry, I hope you feel better, what can I do?" I proceeded to interview him to get an understanding of what was going on and it turns out he just had food poisoning. SO much better.

Once he felt better, he got up and went to his conference and I slept. Then, I explored. I took the train all over to find a store and to get to know the system. I discovered where to go to the Christmas market in the town square. After his conference ended we ventured out. We arrived in the dark evening, it was cold and misting. We ate mysterious sausage meat and kraut. We wandered around the cool buildings. Outside of a beautiful cathedral, a guide who spoke some english invited us to come back in an hour because they were going to set the church "on fire". LT said "Oh really, this I've got to see". What they really did was illuminate the interior with candles. It was cool. I'm really sad I forgot my camera that night.

Another "exciting" thing that happened while we were in the town square was a protest. We were walking near the mall when we heard a lot of police sirens and a lot of chanting. Immediately I wanted to see what was going on. I dashed to the nearest column and peeked into the street. The police were creating a barricade and they were dressed in the riot gear I've seen officers wear in TV shows. I was SO excited and a bit frightened. I had NO CLUE what the hullabaloo was about because, I don't speak German. It didn't take long for LT to catch up with me and as soon as he did he whispered in my ear "We need to go". Awwwww man? He's the cautious one. Well, it DID make sense to avoid a possible civil conflict in a foreign country, but it would have been SO COOL to see. I reluctantly walked away with him. *pout*

One of our favorite days was our visit to the Medieval Christmas Market. It felt like such an adventure to ride the various trains to get there and then enter a world of knights and maidens and mysterious foods. (Have I said enough about the meats yet?)

I thought this street was pretty cool.

The Sodom and Gomorra Bathhouse

I love the dude with the 21st century camera.

Here I am with Hagar. I don't know his real name so I made up my own.

Hey, I've seen one of those before, except it was mini and had candles all around it.

At this meat was NOT a mystery.

Vlad

People in furs.

Overall, it was just nice to spend time with LT. The poor guy was exhausted and burned out and all he really needed to do was rest. I'm grateful he humored me and let me drag him around. Always a great guy. I'm so happy we get to be together for this December instead of just a few days. We are so blessed.

O - The Hair

Yes, let's talk about the hair.

I know, I know, it is always wild in pictures. In the spring O started pulling her hair out of the pony tail/s I put in her hair. And it was so long, all it would do was fly around and cover her face like she was some wild beast.

In the spring I cut bangs, well, I tried and I ended up cutting them crooked and too short. Sorry sweetheart. I only did it because she started pulling her hair out of every elastic/scrunchie I put in her hair. It resulted in her looking like some wild beast. It would fly all around and cover her eyes and at times her entire face. Poor kid.

Anyway, the bangs. We tried them and now they are growing out. Her hair is wavy which translates into wavy bangs. I know, her hair is.... shaggy. She refuses to let me put ANYTHING in it to pull it back. When I do talk her into letting me put something in, it lasts for a few minutes. The bangs ARE getting longer and she is getting older and understanding that it is nice to have her hair out of her face. I'm hoping they will be long enough in the spring to bring and end to them.

Come to think of it, doesn't EVERYONE have bad hair pictures from their youth?

Shortly after the cut. She just enjoyed a blueberry smoothie, can you tell?

She's the cutest thing.

A visit from Uncle T, the hair is growing out.

Getting longer.

Preserved forever.

It's in the eyes now, hooray.

And this is where we are now.

She took this pic herself, she is so proud.

Halloween!!

I am far, far behind on what I want to post on this blog and I refuse to skip events just to keep things chronological here. That's just the way I roll, love me. With that said, I am going to tell you about our Halloween party.

Halloween is one of our favorite holidays. Before life in the Navy, we would throw a Halloween party, every year. It was always a lot of fun to see the creative costumes of our friends and spend time with them eating donuts, playing games and watching/making fun of B grade movies. Some of my fondest memories of life before the Navy are our halloween parties.

This year, since LT was home, we decided to throw our party again. I hate leaving anyone out but I quickly realized as I wrote the guest list that I would have to. I didn't have a choice. Nearly all of our friends have children and if I had invited everyone I wanted to, it would have been over 75 people. And half of them were children. Even so, we hired two babysitters and 35 people, not including us, came to celebrate. Our house was full and I LOVED IT!! Although they were missed, it's a good thing several families cancelled last minute otherwise we may have violated an HOA covenant or something. Ha ha ha

Part of the Halloween set up.

This year, I spent more time baking cookies, popping popcorn and hanging lanterns than I did planning my costume. So, we ended up doing a repeat of The Adams. LT looks awesome when he bugs his eyes. In the picture, you'll see O isn't in costume. She'd had 2 parties earlier that day and I think she was done being dressed up.

Yep folks, that mustache is real.

O had the honor of shaving it off at the end of the night.

I think I missed the best part of the party though. All of the kids were in our basement watching "Spongebob Square Pants". Partway through the evening O came upstairs to the adults, panicked. She tried to tell us the others were having a popcorn fight. She told them to stop and they weren't listening. I heard that and thought of the copious amounts of popcorn I'd popped being tossed all over the basement. At first I thought "Oh crap, that's going to be a mess". But that thought didn't last long, I was on to "When I was that age, I would have loved doing that". LT went downstairs with O. He said he peeked his head into the room and told them to have fun. At the end of the night I took a picture but a majority of the popcorn was cleaned up. Dang it! I wish I had a picture of it. At least is was likely memorable for the kids.

If you look really closely, you will see popcorn on the carpet.

O had a great smirk in this pic.

Finally, no halloween party with glow sticks would be complete with out a phone call to poison control at the end of the night. We learned they truly are non toxic, as listed. And, for the record, O was NOT the one who sampled some glow stick juice. Sorry folks, no picture for this one.