Mental Illness, part 1

I just returned from our Relief Society meeting tonight and one of the class topics was on Mental Health and Mental Illness. I always get so excited to talk about this because I have such a passion for the topic. There is so much information available to the public and not enough of it is known. I hope to spread the word about Mental Illness so others can start to understand it. And, where understanding increases, compassion can grow.

Some of my go to websites are

DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness

NIMH - National Institute on Mental Health

The first thing I want to touch on is, Mental Illness is NOT a character flaw. It is an actual, diagnosable medical condition. Often times, conditions come together, ADD, Depression, Bipolar, Anxiety. Mental illness is very common in our population. According to information on the NIMH website, 1 in 4 adults have a mental illness/disorder. It is very common for people to experience anxiety and/or depression in their lifetime. Depression has been called the "common cold" of mental illness. Most mental illnesses are mild and not chronic. Only 6% of the population suffer from a debilitating and/or chronic mental illness.

Tonight, one sister shared that she has panic attacks and has had them since she was a teenager. She's experienced them enough to know that they pass and she knows how to manage them. Another sister in the class asked what it was like to have a panic attack.

I love it when people ask that question. It is an invitation for someone to tell a real life story of what it is like to experience symptoms of a mental illness.

More often than not, people just don't understand and tend to minimize what the other person is experiencing. I remember about 10 years ago, I was with one of my friends who was experiencing a panic attack. She had just started having them and they totally freaked her out. She didn't know what the heck was going on and when I was with her during her attack, I didn't understand it either. When people are experiencing symptoms of a mental illness, sometimes they just need you to be with them. They don't need you to fix it or try to fix them. They may just need the support of you being with them while they go through it. One of my friends uses a beautiful phrase to describe it. "Just hold it with me".

Here are some ways you can support a person experiencing symptoms. This is from the DBSA website

What you can say that helps:

• You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
• I understand you have a real illness and that’s what causes these thoughts and feelings.
• You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.
• I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
• When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute - whatever you can manage.
• You are important to me. Your life is important to me.
• Tell me what I can do now to help you.
• I am here for you. We will get through this together.

What you should avoid saying:

• It’s all in your head.
• We all go through times like this.
• You’ll be fine. Stop worrying.
• Look on the bright side.
• You have so much to live for; why do you want to die?
• I can’t do anything about your situation.
• Just snap out of it.
• Stop acting crazy.
• What's wrong with you?
• Shouldn’t you be better by now?

Tonight, I also heard a fallacy and I have to address it because I don't want it to be perpetuated. One person stated that she wasn't really fan of medication. She leans more towards "positive talk". Although that is a valid and purposeful tool for assisting people, it isn't always enough or a good fit. That is like saying, "Even though I am a type 1 diabetic, I think if I just never eat sugar, I will be okay." That's not realistic or helpful information for uninformed people to hear. Often times counseling and cognitive therapy will be enough, but more often than not, there is a need to assist the body balance it's chemistry, and that is with the use of medicine. I refer to mental illness as diabetes of the brain. We are chemical creatures and when something is out of whack, our bodies work like mad to put it back in order. If it can't do it on it's own, medicine is one way to help.

The reason I don't like people to think medicine is horrible and to be avoided, is because most people with a chronic mental illness (I'm speaking primarily of Bipolar Disorder) spend YEARS in denial. There is a stigma with having a mental illness. A lot of people are, in a way, afraid of it because they don't understand it. Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to have an illness that nobody really sees or understands. Most people I've spoken with carry a bit of shame. Some say they feel like they are carry around a huge secret that they can't share. People treat you differently when they find out you have a mental illness.

I had one institute teacher say, "I think depression is a lack of faith". Wow, a comment like that does more harm that good when it is heard. It perpetuates the belief that mental illness is all in your head, and can be prayed out of you. And, it invalidates the person with a mental illness and is especially harmful to someone in denial.

I have much, much more to say on this topic and I will share more in another post. I hope to inform as many people as I can about mental illness. I hope to help normalize it.