When it comes to this blog, I have good intentions and grand dreams of writing posts about our family that are fun to read, but the reality is, I just don't have the time I once did to capture it all. Life moves so quickly now, as soon as I'm done with one thing the next one has already started.
For example, my brothers wedding was last weekend. I had a fabulous time, and I had little snippets of stories to share, but since I didn't write most of them down, I don't remember them anymore. I returned home from my trip to ID and immediately started preparing for my trip to VA for Time Out For Women.
But, before I talk about that, I want to share the highlights of my time in ID and UT last weekend. Thursday, I boarded a plane, all by myself, (wow) and headed to SLC. The mountains gave me a welcomed embrace when we landed. Ah! Home. SLC was my home for a decade. We parted friends, me eager to see what else the world had in store. And every time I return, I feel at home again. (I'm so glad SLC's not jealous like that.) I drank in the familiar skyline as I drove in my dads swagger wagon up to ID.
I've had a love hate relationship with ID for years. I'm not sure we're on good terms until I get there. (ID is kind of moody like that.)
I met my new sister-in-law to be and my new nephews and niece to be. We had a family dinner and I told childhood stories about my brother. I'm not sure he appreciated his kids knowing he started our couch on fire. My mum was flabbergasted!! (Hey, at least I waited over 20 years to tell on him, right?)
Friday I spent time with a friend I've known since 1st grade. She recently became a massage therapist and I had a session with her. She is awesome and it was awesome to get reacquainted with her. Later, I met my BFF from high school at the mall. She had her 6 kids in tow and we looked for a simple wedding gift. She talked me into buying a 2 foot inflatable skeleton head/hat to wear at the wedding. (I used my better judgement and chose not to wear it, she'd say I chickened out.) I ended the day with a trip to Buddy's and went to bed with a belly full of salad and garlic bread. I LOVE Buddy's and at that point I was feeling a little better about ID.
Saturday afternoon I went on the coolest bike/Harley ride of my life. (Okay, not of my life, but at least in the past 10 years). I LOVE motorcycles. I got myself into trouble a time or two in college with guys on bikes. Skipping class for a ride? Are you kidding me? OF COURSE I'll go on the ride. I keep telling LT we need to get a motorcycle. He's not convinced. hum..... I wonder if I promise to go topless every time we ride, if that will work?
Also, the big news of Saturday was, my brother got married. It was the most original wedding I've ever attended and I was so glad I could make it. What made me grin from the inside out was seeing him truly happy with his wife. I just love seeing people in love. I'm excited for them to go forward together.
And, incase you didn't already know, I love my brother. He is the coolest guy EVER. I've always been a bit jealous of him because he is the smart one AND the funny one. (Now, LT is the smart one and I'm the funny one, but when I was growing up, I had competition for funny and believe me, Matt is a lot funnier than me.) He's great at making friends. On family vacations, with out fail, he would have a friend in an instant. He is also great at telling stories. It helps that he always embellishes, but that just makes if funnier. Matt, I love you and I'm thrilled for you and your new family.
You've got to admit, the baby in the spider web is pretty funny!!!
See the cow bones too?
By the end of the day Sunday ID and I were friends again. There truly is no place like the home where you grew up. I went to church and saw people who had loved, taught and nurtured me from an early age. The hugs, the familiar and knowing smiles, the love, it was just what a girl needed to be reminded of her first home.
Then Monday came and I was ready to see my family. On my drive to UT I remembered one of the reasons why I didn't really like ID all that much. Their radio stations suck!!! They were playing the same songs they played when I was in Jr High, over 20 years ago. ID really is in a time warp. Occasionally things get in and out of there and I'm just glad I'm one of the ones that made it out. Yep, that bipolar relationship with ID cropped up on the way out. Maybe it was happy I was leaving, or maybe it was sad, but didn't want to let me know. Either way, I shot out of there toward the promise of the airport in UT. That evening I stayed with some friends that are so dear to me. LT and I met them when we were newlyweds. We were in the same ward and we became fun friends with each other. It felt good to feel at "home" again in UT.
Tuesday I stepped off of the plane in MD and was embraced by my family and I was really home.
For a while now, I've been thinking a lot about what it is that is so satisfying about being around people who've known me as a teenager and in my 20's. And all I can come up with is they know me as a functional and capable person. They know my history. They know the fun Melissa that is a total goofball. They've seen some of my gifts and talents. 29 is when my anxiety really kicked in and they didn't see what it did. And, at least by my own perception, I've never been quite the same since. I feel far more flawed now as a 30 something that I did as a 20 something. I think parenting and anxiety have contributed to this feeling of being flawed. I swear, more often that not, I function with a brain on it's last circuit. I'm happy with their memories of who am I because I like them so much better than what I feel like I am now.
And that is how I left ID/UT, filled with a peaceful reminder that I am more than what I am at the current moment. I have been more and I will be more again.